Politics From Dummies: The Election

I just want to set the record straight before we decide the fate of this country. You know, #noregrets and all. This is

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At this point, the partisan war is being waged on two fronts, neither of which– despite adamant screams to the contrary– have much to do with each other. First, there’s the conflict of platforms, in which neither side can agree that “take care of our veterans” means the same thing as “take care of our veterans”. Then there’s the conflict of emotion, in which both sides agree that the other party will be the irrationally inevitable downfall of this country. I’ll cover these in order. Or you can just skip to the mildly funny video at the end. Your choice.

The following comes directly from the campaign websites of each respective candidate and my summaries can be confirmed by sources listed at the end of the article.

The facts are these:

Starting with the four issues you actually care about…

Obviously both candidates want to boost the economy. Less obviously is that both candidates want to do so through an increase in domestic manufacturing to create jobs. They differ in that Trump wants to tear apart all our current international trade deals while Hillary is looking more towards reform.

Their respective tax plans are a bit more tricky, because both have said they want to be Robin Hood, but only one plan would actually take from the rich to give to the needy. Trump’s plan involves “across the board” tax cuts but doesn’t actually promise tax reform preventing the wealthy from taking the kind of advantages Trump himself has taken in the past. Hillary’s plan would make the wealthy of this country pay for much of her platform, including clean energy and health care reform. Trump, on the other hand, hasn’t specifically identified a source of cash for his spending, which leaves experts to predict a more massive national debt increase. His supporters point to his business past as proof of his economic savvy. Frankly, I agree.

Foreign Affairs
All that talk about “status quo” vs “making America great again”? Nowhere is this more relevant than each candidate’s foreign policy. Hillary’s plan is to continue working with allies to reform trade deals and take care of threats, all without any notable increase in might or military. Trump seeks to dramatically increase our military strength while abolishing many of our current trade agreements, effectively pointing a loaded finger at several nations in order to strong-arm for more advantageous deals.

I don’t know how there’s still confusion on this. Hillary wants enough reform to try and keep guns out of dangerous hands. She has never advocated taking guns away from anyone who has them legally. Trump has promised to leave the issue entirely alone. Read this carefully now– either way your guns are yours (unless of course you’re a terrorist in which case go ahead and send me your contact information and the most likely place for, say, a police force to find incriminating evidence. No reason).

Health Care
This is one of the things Hillary will make rich people pay for. Her plan is to take the extra tax money from before and make the current universal health care cheaper. Trump will of course do away with Obamacare completely, and reallocate resources to incentivize individual states towards providing privatized health care policies. Hillary’s plan would make you pay less while giving even more people coverage, Trump’s plan would give you back market-driven choices.

…and now the lightning round…

Hillary: doesn’t like it, will make the wealthy play a part in improvement.
Trump: probably doesn’t like it. Might not care.

Trump: fix stuff
Hillary: fix stuff and give everyone wifi access

Hillary: Take better care of them by reforming the VA
Trump: Take better care of them by firing people at the VA

…and now this.

ROUND 2, *ding ding*

The emotional war has been a unique mixture of hilarity and sadness. Here are the two sides: due to Hillary’s email scandal and her Husband’s philandering past, she is prostrated through conservative media as crooked and deceitful. On the other side, Trump has been widely condemned as unfit for public office due to everything he has ever said and done.

To that point, here’s a clip aired by CNN with several of the worst things Trump has said during his campaign.

While it is literally that easy to point out Trump’s disqualifying moments, things are a bit more complicated with Hillary. First off I will unabashedly take the position that nothing her husband has done should be held against her. But her emails are a different story. Here, have some articles.




Now, you can either read the articles, or you can take my word that they say three things: (1) Hillary lied to the public several times about her email usage; (2) she gave political answers to the FBI that would both save face and not explicitly say she didn’t do it; (3) in the end she did not do anything explicitly illegal even though it was all very underhanded. Oh and she didn’t kill anybody and neither did the emails, so quit saying that. Now here’s that mildly funny video I promised:

When it comes to decision time, though, you should never make a vote based on a “lesser of two evils” choice. In the end, we like Hillary because of her vast political experience and knowledge, her many endorsements as a viable candidate over the course of her career, and the historic nature of having the first woman in the White House. We like Trump because he is an outsider with a reputation of wealth and an unbridled tongue. My recommendation is to scroll back up to the top of this article, read through the policies again and decide which candidate sounds like they will provide the best possible future for this country.

Oh and here’s a bunch of stuff to read about their platforms.








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