There are over 7 billion people in the world, maybe a tenth of which could ever qualify to be my close friends. Thing is, I will only ever meet (at most) 100,000 in my lifetime, which means I could only ever know about 10,000 people with whom I could have a real friendship. But of course I won’t form 10,000 real friendships; in fact, I’ll probably only have 10 to 20 truly close friends throughout my life. And out of those I plan to only marry one. So in this growing world of 7 billion people who are, every day, struggling against time and biology itself to form and keep connections across continents, I eventually have to find the one— just 1 of 7,125,000,000— with whom I want to spend the rest of my life. Which means that every day until then I have to look at those 7 billion people— 100 thousand of which I’ll ever meet and 10 thousand of which even qualify and 20 of which are even in the running— I have to look at those people and ask, who doesn’t make the cut?
Her name is Carly (no that’s not her real name but I’ve got to call her something). And you know what? She is great. I mean, she is really great. She’s fun, she’s intelligent, she’s tall, and in another life we were probably childhood friends grown up into lifelong lovers. Unfortuna
tely this is this life, and in this life we met on Tinder, and in this life we don’t have a history of emotional connection, and in this life I just don’t feel a spark.
Why not? Well, this is the part I struggle with. I consider myself a fairly eloquent person, yet whenever it comes to describing why or why not I’m attracted to somebody I find myself reduced to all the most cringe-worthy clichés. All I can say is that I just don’t feel it. I enjoy my time with her well enough, but as far as romantic flame goes it’s just not there. We’d be friends at most and that is simply not what I’m looking for. Only now do I see the two-edge sword that is Tinder. Meet attractive people near you, it says, charging nothing. No consequences, no strings attached. Sounds like the perfect setup.
I spilled some milk the other day. You know what happens when you spill milk? Nothing. Nobody cries over spilled milk. People aren’t milk. There’s no such thing as no consequences with people. Oh well, I guess I’ll just go swipe right a few more times.